Played by:

Lawrence Schatz at the Couer d'Couers Funeral Home, about to accept a bribe from Emerson Cod.

Lawrence Schatz was the funeral director who ran the Schatz Brothers Funeral Home with his identical twin brother, Louis. The two stole jewelry and possessions from the dead, although Lawrence was the only one who got caught. He died when Ned inadvertently exchanged his life for that of Charlotte "Chuck" Charles, who was one of the customers in his funeral home at the time.


At age 28, Lawrence and Louis Schatz inherited the Coeur d'Coeurs funeral home, a family business, after their father passed away. The brothers changed the name of the business and ran it for the next 15 years. Lawrence ran the funerals and dealt with the public while Louis did the behind-the-scenes business.[1]

The brothers frequently stole jewelry and valuables from the corpses, hiding the stolen loot in the basement. They also found other ways to profit from the dead, including accepting bribes from private investigators like Emerson Cod wishing to investigate dead bodies. This criminal activity ended one day when, prior to a viewing, a widower caught Lawrence stealing jewelry straight out of the coffin. Louis immediately pretended that he had nothing to do with it and acted like he was ashamed of his brother.[2]


Lawrence caught in the act.

Although Louis successfully concealed his involvement in the grave-robbing scheme, Lawrence was maligned in the press and received 1,867 hate letters, several of which threatened his life. He became the subject of a police investigation. Nevertheless, Lawrence continued robbing the dead and accepting bribes from the likes of Emerson, who wanted Ned to investigate the body of Charlotte "Chuck" Charles. This would lead to his death, which, according to the Narrator, occurred 2 days, 8 hours and 43 minutes after he had been caught robbing a coffin.[2]


Unbeknownst to Lawrence, Ned used his magical gift to bring Chuck back to life. When he failed to restore her back to death in under a minute, her life was exchanged for that of Lawrence, who was in their general proximity. He passed away on the toilet, making his death appear to be caused by heart failure, according to his obituary, which also noted the irony of Schatz dying in his own funeral home.[1] According to the Narrator, Lawrence was 44 years, 17 months, 10 days, 6 hours and 9 minutes old when he died.[2]

Shortly before his death, Wilfred Woodruff VI came to the funeral home to confront Lawrence about a valuable Civil War sword the brothers stole from his grandfather's coffin. Wilfred finds Lawrence dead on his toilet and, moments later, sees Ned fleeing the building, not knowing that Ned was chasing after Chuck's coffin[2]


Ned, Emerson, and Chuck return to the Schatz Brothers Funeral Home, each wanting to talk to Lawrence Schatz for their own reasons. There they meet Louis, who disavows any involvement in the grave-robbing scheme and pretends Lawrence did it all himself, without revealing where the stolen valuables are located. However, when Ned later touches and questions Lawrence, the trio learn that Louis was actually an associate in the robberies.[2]

Ned apologizes to him for inadvertently taking his life and Chuck thanks him for giving her the opportunity to live. Her gratefulness soon disappeared, however, when she realizes he has stolen from her then-dead body a pocketwatch that belonged to her father. She steals the watch back and slams his coffin shut, jamming it and causing a brief fear that Ned would not be able to touch him in one minute. He pries the coffin open, however, and touches Lawrence with less than five seconds to spare.[2]

Louis hires Emerson Cod to investigate the death, apparently because he fears one of the angry letter-writers and that he could be the next victim, but he was also at least partially motivated by the idea of making himself look innocent for the crimes himself. Louis, however, eventually chokes to death on a cow tongue steak in the funeral home after Wilfred Woodruff VI breaks into the house to confront him about the sword.[2]

Wilfred tries to frame Ned for murdering Louis, but Ned eventually defeats Wilfred in a sword fight in the funeral home basement, where Ned discovers the stolen valuables are being hidden. The heirlooms were returned to their families, and Wilfred was arrested and charged for his involvement with Louis' death.[2]

Personality and traits

Lawrence Schatz was a heavyset man who wore a suit and tie while on the job. He was always seen with a cigar in his mouth. The Narrator described him as an immensely greedy man who was "always eager to supplement his income," as demonstrated by his repeated robberies from the dead and his willingness to accept a bribe from Emerson Cod and Ned.[1]

Behind the scenes

Lawrence Schatz was played by Brad Grunberg. His first appearance is in "Pie-lette" and he appears as Lawrence in flashback and when Ned touches him as well as playing his twin brother, Louis in "The Fun in Funeral". He is never referred to by name in the former, but his full name and other biographical details appear in an obituary, which is displayed on screen. The only word Schatz actually speaks in the former episode is "Gentlemen," which he says when he accepts the bribe from Emerson Cod and Ned. He has more lines in the latter.


  1. 1.0 1.1 1.2 Pie-lette
  2. 2.0 2.1 2.2 2.3 2.4 2.5 2.6 2.7 The Fun in Funeral