Steve Kaiser is a life insurance adjuster with Über-Life Life Insurance. He speaks with Ned and Chuck about Kevin Vanden Eykel, who has disappeared from the company, and is assumed dead. Kaiser is upset because he has to keep turning down people for heart transplants who don't seem like they'll live through the surgery.
Later, while Steve is walking through a parking garage, he is targeted by Madeline McLean from the Wish-A-Wish Foundation, due to his recent denial of Abner Newsome's transplant request. However, before she can kill Steve with her bat, she is intercepted by Ned and Emerson.
He appears solely in "Corpsicle".
- Kaiser is the German for 'Caesar', 'czar/tsar' or 'emperor'.